These past few years have been like a wilderness experience for me and it seems like it has been for other people as well. Of course life is filled with difficulty, but it has been especially difficult for me these last few years. Not that my life wasn’t wonderful as well. I am not complaining. I am just reflecting back for an insight into the wilderness experience.
In my wilderness I hid out from most of the world. Some people may or may not have wondered why. I am sure some people were glad to get rid of me. It seems like I was kind of pushed out into it by some. It’s alright because it turned out to be for my good. I do believe God has hidden me for various reasons. I have been studying and learning more about His word. I also have a baby and a toddler to keep me busy, but there is no doubt I have been hidden.
One reason I believe I’ve been hidden is because I needed to work on myself. The devil had my ear many times. I was saved and didn’t usually intentionally sin, but my focus was more on my trouble than on God’s Goodness. My heart was broke in my trouble and my mind was the cause of most of it. I wrote about how Jesus helps us in our trouble in the blog, “God Helps Us in Our Trouble.”
One way God helped me is by healing my heart, and another way was by changing my thoughts. I learned to get my mind off my problems and focus on trying to help others. That is why I am writing these posts. I believe to help a person is a great example of love and Jesus said we are to love our neighbor as our self (Matthew 22:39).
Many of us know our neighbors can sometimes be our enemies but Jesus does say to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Before I could love more I had to really grasp the fact that God loves me. I felt like He kept reminding me in the Spirit that He did. I knew He loved me but maybe I didn’t know it enough. It needed it to sink into my soul.
In my wilderness I also had to learn to forgive. I had a difficult time forgiving people who I believe harbored a Jezebel spirit. I believe this spirit causes narcissism which is based on selfishness and rooted in insecurity and pain. I had to remove myself from some people who I believe operated through this spirit.
If you are around people who deliberately put you through pain, sometimes, if you can, it’s best to remove yourself or distance yourself from them in some way until they have had their wilderness experience. We have to ask God to help them change which requires us to forgive them. It’s not easy to forgive people influenced by this spirit but it is something we need to do. I believe it affects many people in our society. I am not perfect so please don’t think I am hating on anyone.
Sometimes people say love the person, hate the sin. I am taking that advice. We often focus on the person who sins rather than the culprit of the sin. If we say we don’t like a person that means we don’t love or forgive them, and that goes for ourselves as well. We have to remind ourselves we are not perfect because we are human and it is inevitable that we will make mistakes. But it’s alright because God can use what we did wrong for his and our good (Romans 8:28).
I believe that as I come out of this wilderness, I will use all of the pain, as well as the mistakes I made and the consequences from them to help other people. I am coming out of this wilderness and I hope you have either had or will have a similar experience. I know it might not sound nice to wish that someone has a wilderness experience, but I believe some of us stubborn ones may have to be lost before we can be found. There is beauty in the wilderness, or as it says in Bible, beauty from our ashes (Isaiah 61:3). I will add that I hope you come out of your wilderness experience with greater love, joy, and peace.
Please say this prayer with me so that you can have greater joy, love, and peace: Father God I thank you for sending your son Jesus to earth to die for my sins. I acknowledge Jesus that you are my Lord and savior. I invite you Holy Spirit to live inside me and change me and my life for the better. Thank you for saving me and for taking care of me in my wilderness experience. Also thank you for helping me come out of it. I love you and praise you Lord.